Why isn't it my birthday?

This is a conversation I had with Evelyn this morning, and the first thing she said as soon as she woke up. 

Evelyn: *opens eyes* Why isn't it my birthday today? 

Me: I know right?! Where the presents at? 

Evelyn: Well I'm only getting out of bed on my birthday.

Me: So you're going to stay in bed for 364 days of the year?

Evelyn: Yep. When you ring school to tell them why I'm not coming in, you can tell them why.

Me: Well, I think it's a pretty good reason but I don think school would agree. 

Evelyn: They will, Mummy. How will you know if you don't try? 

Me: Again, you make a good point, but I'm not calling up your school to say, "I'm sorry, Evelyn isn't coming in today because it isn't her birthday." 

*we both collapse in giggles* 😊

That man looks like a potato

Evelyn: That man has no hair!

*man laughs* 

Evelyn: He looks like a potato! 

Pigeons

Evelyn: I don't like pigeons, they're scary and mean and don't have a soul. 

Evelyn's excuses as to why she couldn't go to nursery today.

"Some snakes came in the night and ate off the bit of my legs that lets me walk."

"My legs told me in my sleep that they weren't going to work on Wednesdays ever again."

"A man told me that he's going to bring us a parcel today so we have to stay in all day because we don't know when he will come. He could be on his way right now. I bet it's something important like jelly."

"My legs told me they don't want to go." 

"Everyone who works at nursery is poorly so they said that nursery will be open on Sunday instead and I can stay here, eat my chocolate raisins and do my puzzles. Doesn't that sound like a plan we'll both enjoy?" 

Microphone in the sky

Evelyn: I wish there was a microphone up in the sky, because sometimes you cry when someone dies and if there was a microphone up there, you'd still be able to talk to them and wouldn't be as sad. 

Me: That's a lovely thought Evelyn.

Evelyn: If I had a wish I'd make that my wish. 

Me: You're such a lovely person, Evelyn. 

Evelyn: Yes and I was your wish wasn't I. 

Me: You were. You were my wish every night before I went to bed. 

:)

Bored dinosaurs

Evelyn: I wanted to sing a song to the dinosaurs but they got bored and died so I'm going to sing it to you instead. 

Mummy, you're embarrassing me!

Evelyn: Mummy, can I have a cookie?

Me: Yes. 

Evelyn: I can't hear you. I want you to say yes louder. 

Me: YEEEEEESSSSSSSS! YOU CAN HAVE A COOKIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Evelyn: No, not THAT loud, Mummy, you're embarrassing me.